Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
ROMANS CH. 8:26
How are you? Hopefully you’re fine and well and everything is going right in the world for you.
That would be amazing 😊
Unfortunately, the job turned out to be short-lived. The boss told me she could no longer afford to keep me on as the contract she was expecting had fallen through. My response was to smile and nod and when I left the table, I went out into the corridor and laughed.
I know, it sounds crazy but I did! I said to God, ‘I have no idea what You’re up to right now, but YOU do so, I’m leaving it in Your hands.’
Yes, it’s disappointing – I had expected to learn so much at that role. But I trust God has a plan for me.
It’s been harder to trust God in relation to my marriage though. By now, I thought my marriage would be a testimony. I thought things would be different.
I thought he would be different.
But narcissism is a difficult thing to combat, especially if you’re unable – or unwilling to see the traits.
I ache to be part of a team. To be one whole rather than two separates. But we’re not on the same page at the moment.
It’s very easy to point the finger and say ‘He is lacking!’ And I wouldn’t dream of sitting here and tell you I’m perfect.
I’m not.
Not even close.
I get uptight over silly things. I answer out of anger instead of understanding. I hold back from being affectionate with him because I’m waiting for him to change first, to somehow deserve it.
That’s crazy, right?
So how can I expect things to change if I’m unwilling to put the work in too?
A friend asked me what God is saying to me about my marriage. I said, in all honesty, I’m probably not listening because I don’t think He’s going to say what I want Him to say!
She asked, ‘What is the Word saying?’
Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering;
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.
COLOSSIANS CHAPTER 3:12-14
This part of Scripture is telling us how to treat others in the body of Christ but I think we can apply it to all relationships.
If, in our relationships, each one is seeking to have and show compassion, kindness and patience; if we are bearing with each others faults and forgiving each other as Christ forgave us – then we will see the good that we want to see.
But what if one person is doing all of that and the other isn’t interested?
And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by Him.
COLOSSIANS CHAPTER 3:17
It’s through relationship with God and knowing His Word that will help us to do this – doing everything as though it’s for the Lord.
Would I snap at Jesus? Would I get in a huff if He asked me to do something? Would I refuse to speak to Him because He didn’t answer me the way I wanted, exactly when I wanted?
No!
It’s not at all easy and if you have some practical tips for me, feel free to voice them in the comments below.
And please don’t think that I’m saying we should allow people to mistreat us. Boundaries are necessary.
What I am saying is – for me at least – the focus needs to be on me and what I need to do differently at this time. And, for all those times when I don’t know what to say or do, I know the Holy Spirit is praying for me.
Love and blessings xx
Steadfast Love 