Trust

Our fast came to an end a couple of Sunday’s ago and during our (online) church service, my eldest received a vision of God speaking to her. He told her the tribulation is coming and asked if she is ready to go with Him. Cue opened mouth awe from everyone! It was, in my view, a clear warning to God’s people – to me.

On that day, both my daughter – 13 and 10 years old – made the decision to give their lives to Christ. Well, for my eldest it was a re-commital but regardless – it was a day of rejoicing and praise to God for His goodness and answers to prayer.

I spoke to John about the service afterwards, wondering if he had got anything out of it. His response was a flat ‘no’ which threatened to dampen my mood but I persevered. It turns out that John had no idea what the tribulation is – hence the word not having any impact. I took the time to explain and then left it. I haven’t broached the subject again and nor has he.

It’s fair to say I’ve been struggling with where John and I are at the moment. It seems to be a place of nothingness. I was on such a high from the fast and now feel like I’ve come back down to earth with a bump… I was told by an elder in my church last week that if they’d known how far John was from god, they never would have encouraged me to stay with him.

What?!

It threw me into confusion. Did I really hear from God? Was I right in the first place, seeking divorce?

I spoke with a trusted friend and her words to me were ‘we serve a God of miracles and there is nothing that is too difficult for Him to do! We only need believe without doubt so remove any form of doubt out of your heart and ask God to increase your faith.’ I was looking at the book of Philippians and this jumped out at me:

For we are the circumcision, which worship God in the spirit, and rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh.

PHILIPPIANS CH 3:3

Reading that I realised I was wallowing in my flesh – in which I have zero confidence! Why am I worrying? I had just spent 21 days not just petitioning God for particular needs but also praying about everything! Why would I stop now?

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee: because he trusteth in Thee.

ISAIAH CH 26:3

I have to keep trusting God to do what He said He would do – no matter what people say; no matter what the enemy says; no matter what my flesh says. God will bring it to pass and He will keep me in perfect peace.

Love and blessings

Ana x