Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
MATTHEW 5:9
Many years ago, when I was maybe 12 or 13 years, I was at a church meeting with my Mum and a man came from clear across the auditorium to tell her that God has called me to be a peacemaker. I didn’t understand what it meant – I knew the verse, having learnt it at Sunday School but I had no idea what a peacemaker was.
The word has stayed with me – I’ve never forgotten it and over the years, I have understood the importance of that role, of keeping the peace. I can see now moments where I have facilitated making peace between friends, work colleagues and now even my own children. So why can’t I be a peacemaker where my marriage is concerned?
I’m aware that this blog isn’t like others in the sense that I can’t say ‘this is everything that happened and now everything is wonderful.’ At this point I can only hold to the word that God gave me, but we are definitely not ‘there’ yet.
Work has generally been a point of contention for us – for him because regardless of whether I was physically going to a job or being a Mum, he would always (and still does) state that he was working so much harder than me. When we were both working, he would come in and work on his side-line and complain to me that he was working a 70 hour week and therefore I shouldn’t expect him to come to church with us/read a bedtime story/spend time with us as a family – because he was working hard to pay all the bills (my contribution completely ignored). I’ve been out of work for a while because of the pandemic but I still contribute – I am looking after the home, the children and keeping everything else going whilst he works. I feel his resentment intensely. He makes comments like ‘I don’t have your life of riley’ and it pierces – especially as I didn’t make comments like that when he was out of work and I was employed.
The word ‘Peacemaker’ continues to repeat in my mind. How am I to pursue and achieve peace in my home – in my marriage when I don’t want to talk to the person I’m supposed to pursue peace with? I’m laughing at that 😊 I guess this post isn’t very encouraging… but it is real. It’s at moments like this that it’s important to remember my partner is not the enemy:
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
EPHESIANS 6:12
When I stay annoyed and don’t speak to John, I’m allowing the enemy to win. When I pursue peace and walk in love, regardless of how John acts – God is glorified and we walk in victory. This is not easy – at all! But we have to tell our flesh to shut-up – we have to get comfortable with our flesh being uncomfortable so the Holy Spirit can lead us in the will of the Father.
Love and blessings
Ana x
Steadfast Love 